Yes, I'm feelin' guilty for NOT blogging for over a month! I'm so busy, though. Sigh. I have the regular homeschool co-op and activities work, but August played basketball for 2 different leagues this year so we were running around to do that. I got a new calling AND a stake calling thrown into the mix. Oh, and Chris works late just about everyday with new job responsibilities he has going on. Whine, whine, whine... did I mention we also have school work to do everyday??
Basketball is now over - and August was a rock star, by the way - but, now baseball is getting underway, as well as soccer. India is playing soccer and all three boys are playing baseball. India has also started a violin class in addition to what she's doing at our co-op.
Keeping up with the house work is just about impossible.
I see burnout in my future, but am trying to hang on! If I could just get through until July. At that point sports will be over and Girl's Camp and Cub Scout day camp, but I'll have to focus on getting the co-op up and going by August. We'd like to take a trip west in July....
I'm learning to say "no" to activities and people when we just have too much going on and need to just be home. I need at least one full week day at home to take care of things here. Or else, we'll be living in a pig stye.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Like a 2 year old?
Today in sacrament meeting Roman was wiggly during the passing of the sacrament. I picked him up and put him in my lap and told him to be still for just a bit longer. He frowned at me and told me I was treating him like a 2 year old. This was pretty dramatic since he is now 6 years old and all! Hmmm..... Apparantly he was embarrassed to sit in my lap in front of his female peers sitting in front of us, who turned around to look at him in my lap.
Roman has his 6th birthday on February 6. The night before we took him to Chuck E. Cheese and Meme and Grandad met us there. On the day of, we went to a Valentine's Party at a friend's house. Some of the kids sang to him, and he got tons of presents earlier that morning. Things were low-key this year. It has been hard to bounce back from Granny's illness and funeral. I couldn't pull off a big party for him.
Chris celebrated 36 on February 8. What an old man! hehehe He is getting silver in his goatee :) He just looks more handsome to me. I continue to look more like a hag as I age. Scary.
Anyway, we're settling back into normal life, whatever that is. Still trying to organize and clean up the house. It is a disaster from the last month!
We got back to doing school work this week. I tend to sit at the dining room table on my laptop working while the kids gather around me at the table to do their work. "Working" for me this week was doing family history, scanning pictures, making to-do lists, and getting my personal life organized. This happened well this week. On Thursdays we're now meeting with two families who live nearby to do history and science. This will be great and will keep us on track.
India has been growing crystals in various ways this week for her science project for next month. Fun stuff.
August did well yesterday - he had two basketball games back to back and scored high for his team in each game. He was invited to play in a competitive tournament this week, and he is excited!
Roman has his 6th birthday on February 6. The night before we took him to Chuck E. Cheese and Meme and Grandad met us there. On the day of, we went to a Valentine's Party at a friend's house. Some of the kids sang to him, and he got tons of presents earlier that morning. Things were low-key this year. It has been hard to bounce back from Granny's illness and funeral. I couldn't pull off a big party for him.
Chris celebrated 36 on February 8. What an old man! hehehe He is getting silver in his goatee :) He just looks more handsome to me. I continue to look more like a hag as I age. Scary.
Anyway, we're settling back into normal life, whatever that is. Still trying to organize and clean up the house. It is a disaster from the last month!
We got back to doing school work this week. I tend to sit at the dining room table on my laptop working while the kids gather around me at the table to do their work. "Working" for me this week was doing family history, scanning pictures, making to-do lists, and getting my personal life organized. This happened well this week. On Thursdays we're now meeting with two families who live nearby to do history and science. This will be great and will keep us on track.
India has been growing crystals in various ways this week for her science project for next month. Fun stuff.
August did well yesterday - he had two basketball games back to back and scored high for his team in each game. He was invited to play in a competitive tournament this week, and he is excited!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Back
We're back from Texas. Our family escaped the ice storm last week to go to Granny's funeral.
After I left TX last time, she went to a nursing home for 1 day and got sent back to the ER barely breathing, low blood pressure, low heart rate. They sent her to Houston Methodist to ICU. She had a ventilator breathing for her and she had double pneumonia. It was bad. They did a scan of her abdomen and chest and found that she was eaten up with cancer. The doctor said this may have been what caused the strokes. There was nothing they could do.
She passed about 2:30 am last Tuesday, January 27. My aunt, mother, and cousin were with her.
I was in Arkansas in an ice storm, but OK with that. I knew when I came home that she didn't have long on this earth. I had grieved and made peace with that. I kept thinking I needed to get back down there, but something would pull my reins and say, "Not yet. Not now. Just wait."
Everything happens for a reason, and the spirit does guide us in ways we do not always understand right away, or ever. I think that if I had been there maybe my aunt and mother would not have been there. That would have been upsetting to my grandmother's soul, I think, to know her daughters weren't there. Even though I know she loved me and always counted on me, it hurt her when her daughters couldn't be counted on.
These are the facts and I have no problem stating them on this blog - they know that. The whole family knows that.
So, Chris said if he had to chisel our way out of the neighborhood, he would so we could leave Wednesday morning for TX. He didn't have to chisel us out, thankfully. Instead, we drove carefully. Lots of slipping and sliding went on, but I knew were being watched over so it didn't really stress me out.
We stayed with our great friends, the Waddells, down in Dayton. They are always great hosts. Things were busy while we were there getting everything in order, and we didn't get to hang out much, but when we did, it was fun and took my mind off of things.
I had Granny's funeral requests that she mailed to me about 4 1/2 years ago. We played the music she wanted, Chris conducted and gave the eulogy like she wanted, and we used the funeral home that she wanted. She got pink and blue flowers - her favorite colors. We played Elvis - Gospel Hits during her viewing :) My friend, Alma, and I sang during her services. Everything went over well. The other speakers were great. I learned several things about my grandparents and taught others what I knew. So much interesting history.
More than ever, I am happy to know who my ancestors were and how they lived their lives. What a rich inheritance I have. They were amazing people.
I don't think I shed a tear the day of the funeral. I was so happy for Granny. I missed her, deeply, and still do, but the joy overcame that. She was a widow for 35 years, and now she gets to be with her eternal companion. She isn't in pain and suffering. Her legs are strong and without polio, which she had as a teen. She is also with her parents, whom she loved. I had some intense spiritual experiences during the days I was in TX, and I know she was there watching us and loving us.
I did get a little weepy last night. A birthday card came for Roman from my other Granny. I realized no more birthday cards would come for our family from Granny Bevell, and that was sad. No more weekly phone calls. There is truly a void in my life, and that cannot be filled. A little part of me will always be empty. I know I'll get to see her again, someday, though. This isn't the end.
After I left TX last time, she went to a nursing home for 1 day and got sent back to the ER barely breathing, low blood pressure, low heart rate. They sent her to Houston Methodist to ICU. She had a ventilator breathing for her and she had double pneumonia. It was bad. They did a scan of her abdomen and chest and found that she was eaten up with cancer. The doctor said this may have been what caused the strokes. There was nothing they could do.
She passed about 2:30 am last Tuesday, January 27. My aunt, mother, and cousin were with her.
I was in Arkansas in an ice storm, but OK with that. I knew when I came home that she didn't have long on this earth. I had grieved and made peace with that. I kept thinking I needed to get back down there, but something would pull my reins and say, "Not yet. Not now. Just wait."
Everything happens for a reason, and the spirit does guide us in ways we do not always understand right away, or ever. I think that if I had been there maybe my aunt and mother would not have been there. That would have been upsetting to my grandmother's soul, I think, to know her daughters weren't there. Even though I know she loved me and always counted on me, it hurt her when her daughters couldn't be counted on.
These are the facts and I have no problem stating them on this blog - they know that. The whole family knows that.
So, Chris said if he had to chisel our way out of the neighborhood, he would so we could leave Wednesday morning for TX. He didn't have to chisel us out, thankfully. Instead, we drove carefully. Lots of slipping and sliding went on, but I knew were being watched over so it didn't really stress me out.
We stayed with our great friends, the Waddells, down in Dayton. They are always great hosts. Things were busy while we were there getting everything in order, and we didn't get to hang out much, but when we did, it was fun and took my mind off of things.
I had Granny's funeral requests that she mailed to me about 4 1/2 years ago. We played the music she wanted, Chris conducted and gave the eulogy like she wanted, and we used the funeral home that she wanted. She got pink and blue flowers - her favorite colors. We played Elvis - Gospel Hits during her viewing :) My friend, Alma, and I sang during her services. Everything went over well. The other speakers were great. I learned several things about my grandparents and taught others what I knew. So much interesting history.
More than ever, I am happy to know who my ancestors were and how they lived their lives. What a rich inheritance I have. They were amazing people.
I don't think I shed a tear the day of the funeral. I was so happy for Granny. I missed her, deeply, and still do, but the joy overcame that. She was a widow for 35 years, and now she gets to be with her eternal companion. She isn't in pain and suffering. Her legs are strong and without polio, which she had as a teen. She is also with her parents, whom she loved. I had some intense spiritual experiences during the days I was in TX, and I know she was there watching us and loving us.
I did get a little weepy last night. A birthday card came for Roman from my other Granny. I realized no more birthday cards would come for our family from Granny Bevell, and that was sad. No more weekly phone calls. There is truly a void in my life, and that cannot be filled. A little part of me will always be empty. I know I'll get to see her again, someday, though. This isn't the end.
Patricia Ann Martin-Bevell
October 11, 1934 - January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Hard times
And I'm not talking about the economy.
My Granny has been in and out of the hospital for almost a month. I dropped everything and drove to TX by myself to be with her. I watched her, sat with her, held her hand, painted her nails, fed her, turned her, helped change her, pleaded with nurses for her, argued with the doctor for her, demanded she be more comfortable, slept next to her in the chair bed, played Elvis and George Strait music for her, showed her pictures, sang to her. I did anything I could for her. She didn't always know who I was, but was comforted having someone there to keep her company. She was hurting and that was hard to see. Strokes can really take someone out.
I also saw and was heartbroken at how utterly alone someone can be at the end of their life and how incredibly sad that is. How incredibly heartwrenching to have family who will not sacrifice their time to hold a hand or just sit in the room with their sick relative for more than an hour a day.
I've mourned and been so angry. I'm numb, now. Anything can happen and I don't know that I will feel it.
I'm sorry. I know this is incredibly depressing, but that has been my life this month. Great way to start off the New Year, huh?
There is so much more I can write, but it is late and my mind is foggy.
I was in TX for about 10 days spending 20-26 hours with her at one time. I finally came back home in exhaustion. I can go back at any time. I'm waiting for the right time. It will be soon.
She is in Houston in ICU. She has pneumonia she may not recover from at this point. A machine is breathing for her, and she never wanted this.
In one of her lucid moments, she told me she was ready to go. So ready. The next morning she perked up and told Chris on my cell phone about the journey she had taken that week. She saw so many people and had strange dreams, but she got to come back. She was so glad she was alive and got to be with such wonderful people. I left the next day. She had another stroke a couple of days later. Ended back up in the ER and now in ICU. What an emotional roller coaster.
I keep feeling like I need to go back the last few days, but then something grabs my reins and says to stay here. I feel such peace and don't feel like I need to go, yet.
I know my husband loves me. He let me go. He let me go there, and told me every day I was there to take all the time I needed. All that stopped me was my body giving out. Not a nagging husband demanding me or whining at me to come home and take care of our home and children. He is so great. My kids are great, too. If they cried for me, they didn't show it or tell me about it which would crush me even more. They were strong and took care of themselves and our home while I had to be away. My dear mother-in-law dropped everything and stayed here for 5 days to keep them company and help India take care of the boys. She even did homeschooling with them.
I'm so grateful for them.
It is hard to watch someone you love suffer. So hard. I do not know how my other Granny nursed so many loved ones for months on end - her husband, my father, and her own sister last year. She is a rock.
My Granny has been in and out of the hospital for almost a month. I dropped everything and drove to TX by myself to be with her. I watched her, sat with her, held her hand, painted her nails, fed her, turned her, helped change her, pleaded with nurses for her, argued with the doctor for her, demanded she be more comfortable, slept next to her in the chair bed, played Elvis and George Strait music for her, showed her pictures, sang to her. I did anything I could for her. She didn't always know who I was, but was comforted having someone there to keep her company. She was hurting and that was hard to see. Strokes can really take someone out.
I also saw and was heartbroken at how utterly alone someone can be at the end of their life and how incredibly sad that is. How incredibly heartwrenching to have family who will not sacrifice their time to hold a hand or just sit in the room with their sick relative for more than an hour a day.
I've mourned and been so angry. I'm numb, now. Anything can happen and I don't know that I will feel it.
I'm sorry. I know this is incredibly depressing, but that has been my life this month. Great way to start off the New Year, huh?
There is so much more I can write, but it is late and my mind is foggy.
I was in TX for about 10 days spending 20-26 hours with her at one time. I finally came back home in exhaustion. I can go back at any time. I'm waiting for the right time. It will be soon.
She is in Houston in ICU. She has pneumonia she may not recover from at this point. A machine is breathing for her, and she never wanted this.
In one of her lucid moments, she told me she was ready to go. So ready. The next morning she perked up and told Chris on my cell phone about the journey she had taken that week. She saw so many people and had strange dreams, but she got to come back. She was so glad she was alive and got to be with such wonderful people. I left the next day. She had another stroke a couple of days later. Ended back up in the ER and now in ICU. What an emotional roller coaster.
I keep feeling like I need to go back the last few days, but then something grabs my reins and says to stay here. I feel such peace and don't feel like I need to go, yet.
I know my husband loves me. He let me go. He let me go there, and told me every day I was there to take all the time I needed. All that stopped me was my body giving out. Not a nagging husband demanding me or whining at me to come home and take care of our home and children. He is so great. My kids are great, too. If they cried for me, they didn't show it or tell me about it which would crush me even more. They were strong and took care of themselves and our home while I had to be away. My dear mother-in-law dropped everything and stayed here for 5 days to keep them company and help India take care of the boys. She even did homeschooling with them.
I'm so grateful for them.
It is hard to watch someone you love suffer. So hard. I do not know how my other Granny nursed so many loved ones for months on end - her husband, my father, and her own sister last year. She is a rock.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Christmas Time
Isn't it funny that when you are an adult, Christmas is such a surprize? It seriously sneaks up on you as an adult. Something to hit you like a bomb, rather than something to antisipate. That's what it was like for me this year. Not that we had a crummy Christmas, because we didn't. It was great. Chris has been home since December 19 and doesn't go back to work until January 5. We have been able to have some quality family time and I have enjoyed having him here to hang out with. My issue was that it was Christmas Eve and I was like, "Oh, crap, we need to send out Christmas cards." and ,"Forget sending any packages to my family for Christmas until next week because they won't even get there in time by this point." and "Really, tomorrow is Christmas??? We haven't even baked cookies for Santa." Yikes. All those little details that are left to the mother. Why was I so out of whack this year????
Our kids had serious overload on Christmas Day. They got way too many presents, which we said we were NOT going to do! They were only supposed to get 3 presents and a Wii altogether and they got way more than that. I don't think they'll run out of things to do for months. I have no idea what they could possibly want for their birthdays this year.
We did have some good Family Nights this month and did lots of things together as a family.
I am content. I feel peace.
I also feel like a loser over not busting my butt to get Christmas packages to my sisters and grandmothers and mom before Christmas, though, because they all came through! Guilt. Next year I'm sending them out in November.
Our kids had serious overload on Christmas Day. They got way too many presents, which we said we were NOT going to do! They were only supposed to get 3 presents and a Wii altogether and they got way more than that. I don't think they'll run out of things to do for months. I have no idea what they could possibly want for their birthdays this year.
We did have some good Family Nights this month and did lots of things together as a family.
I am content. I feel peace.
I also feel like a loser over not busting my butt to get Christmas packages to my sisters and grandmothers and mom before Christmas, though, because they all came through! Guilt. Next year I'm sending them out in November.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
ER visit
Well, I was on the phone this afternoon with one of my cub scout's moms, and I heard blood curdling screams from the kitchen - these were no ordinary screams. I walk in and there are blood splatters on the floor and Roman is shaking his foot like crazy. A kitchen chair is on it's side. Turns out, the chair fell over and hit Roman's pinky toe and busted it open. Warning: this is gross. It looked like his toe was sliced around almost his entire nail and the nail was detached from his toe. As he shook it in pain, blood went everywhere. Then he starts yelling that he needs to pee. What a great time for that! So August starts cleaning up the blood and I picked him up and carried him into the bathroom and he's yelling and I'm telling him to calm down and he's yelling back, "I can't control myself - it hurts too bad!!!" I get him to settle down after he has relieved himself and he is broken out in hives from the stress. It must have really hurt. The last time I had a kid look this flushed and have hives from stress, it was Canyon and his broken leg at age 2. The toe looked pretty bad to me so Chris met me at the ER since it was 5:00. They had to cut out his nail AND the flesh under and around it that was severed. EEEEWWWWW. It was pretty traumatic for him. And me. I was emotionally drained and exhausted. Then, I had to go to church to do cub scouts. Yea. What I really wanted to do was curl up with Roman and take a nap!
I hate those moments when I have to decide if something is ER worthy or not. Then there are the yahoos who work in the ER. We had a nurse practitioner with shakey hands who handled Roman's toe too severely and caused him more pain. Thanks. I'll get charged some ghastly amount of money for that.
I hate those moments when I have to decide if something is ER worthy or not. Then there are the yahoos who work in the ER. We had a nurse practitioner with shakey hands who handled Roman's toe too severely and caused him more pain. Thanks. I'll get charged some ghastly amount of money for that.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Trying this out
So, I'm trying out this blogging stuff. I am so up and coming with the newest online cool stuff to do. I finally joined Facebook 2 months ago - I know, so jr. high - and now I'm blogging. Look at me! I hate technology. Imagine that. I could so go live in the mountains away from civilization without a computer. Really. No TV, either. Can't you see me living off the land? I figured this was a good way to journal, though, since my typing is way more efficient than my terrible chicken scratch handwriting and maybe I'll do it more often than once every 3 months. So, here we go.
Chris has been busy, busy, busy at work. I have been busy, busy, busy trying to deep clean every corner of my house for the holiday season. I like a clean house before Christmas hits. We are hosting the Carlson Family Christmas this year the weekend before the holiday, too. That means we'll have 14 adults and 19+ kids here. It will be fun.
We are trying to keep up with homeschooling, too. Trying to do at least SOMETHING everyday. The holidays get busy for us, though. That is what schooling through the summer is for - to make up for these times we take off during the other parts of the year!
Roman and Canyon have been fighting alot. I mean punching, kicking, beating eachother up fighting. What is with that? What family do they think they belong to? I wonder.... We have had many talks (or lectures) lately about loving brothers, etc. Roman was getting sassy with Canyon the other day and I told him to watch it or I would ground him if he got physical. He responded with, "You have GOT to be kidding me, girl." Girl? He called me "girl". Sigh. He cracked up at my expression. I was shocked, I'm sure. 5 year olds...
So, the fighting matches have calmed down and are becoming less frequent, but for a week there, it was every day. Drove me nuts. They had everything taken away from them that was valuable and dear, so I think that got through to them.
I have a million things to do and all I want to do is start blogging and read Rebecca and watch a good movie. I need some time management skills.
Chris has been busy, busy, busy at work. I have been busy, busy, busy trying to deep clean every corner of my house for the holiday season. I like a clean house before Christmas hits. We are hosting the Carlson Family Christmas this year the weekend before the holiday, too. That means we'll have 14 adults and 19+ kids here. It will be fun.
We are trying to keep up with homeschooling, too. Trying to do at least SOMETHING everyday. The holidays get busy for us, though. That is what schooling through the summer is for - to make up for these times we take off during the other parts of the year!
Roman and Canyon have been fighting alot. I mean punching, kicking, beating eachother up fighting. What is with that? What family do they think they belong to? I wonder.... We have had many talks (or lectures) lately about loving brothers, etc. Roman was getting sassy with Canyon the other day and I told him to watch it or I would ground him if he got physical. He responded with, "You have GOT to be kidding me, girl." Girl? He called me "girl". Sigh. He cracked up at my expression. I was shocked, I'm sure. 5 year olds...
So, the fighting matches have calmed down and are becoming less frequent, but for a week there, it was every day. Drove me nuts. They had everything taken away from them that was valuable and dear, so I think that got through to them.
I have a million things to do and all I want to do is start blogging and read Rebecca and watch a good movie. I need some time management skills.
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