I have become...

I have been looking back over the last few weeks thinking, " What if I had just done this a little different..." It is easy to get sidetracked, sometimes.

All of my adult life I have been a parent. I love my children very much. I never planned to homeschool. I sort of fell into it once our oldest turned 5, and I realized I had been doing it all along. I realized I wanted my daughter to be a better person than she would turn out after going through the system. How different would our family be if I had gone out and had a career, instead? Would we be better or worse? Would my younger self have chosen this life for me?

One of my favorite poems:


Lest We Forget

She came tonight as I sat alone
The girl that I used to be. . .
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully:

"Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame
All the wonderful things to do?"

"Where is the mansion of stately height
With all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?"

And as she spoke, I was very sad,
For I wanted her pleased with me . . .
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently arising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
So innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,
And precious they are to me,
That silken robe is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltering walls
For the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me,
And I saw that the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl that I used to be.

—Anonymous